The best of men is like water;
   Water benefits all things
   And does not compete with them.
It dwells in (the lowly) places that all disdain –
   Wherein it comes near to the Tao.

In his dwelling, (the Sage) loves the (lowly) earth;
In his heart, he loves what is profound;
In his relations with others, he loves kindness;
In his words, he loves sincerity;
In government, he loves peace;
In business affairs, he loves ability;
In his actions, he loves choosing the right time.
   It is because he does not contend
   That he is without reproach. (Tao Te Ching chapter 8, Lin Yu Tang trans.)

In my last post, I spoke of how our true selves work with the Tao to get us to the experience we came here for. I explained how things take time and how we work with other true selves to make things happen.

I finished that post by discussing how our mind/ego creates traps for us and how they affect us.

In this post, I want to talk about how to let go of those traps so that you (i.e., your true self) can progress through the world as a fully aware being.

Remember, no matter how far you rise on your path, the mind/ego will exist and try to trap you whenever possible.

In the last post, I discussed some apparent signs that you are in a mind/ego trap. You are in a trap if you experience any negative emotions, such as anger, frustration, impatience, and others. These emotions arise when our minds/egos perceive that things are going wrong or not how they should. It’s a way for your mind to maintain control and distract you.

Don’t forget that you are also trapped if you experience excessive periods of joy or feel superiority or smugness toward others. I will discuss this trap in a later blog post.

Even when one is enlightened, the mind/ego can experience these negative emotions. The key to dealing with them is what one does with them.

As I said, we are always where we are supposed to be and doing what we are supposed to be doing when we act from our true selves. Before then, we are at the mercy of our minds/egos. They can take us in many different directions that cause many problems.

Impatience, anger, and frustration may arise when we are doing what we are supposed to be doing and when we are not. Our minds/egos make no distinction between the two, as the mind does not accept the idea of the true self. As far as it’s concerned, it (the mind) is your true self.

The solution to this problem begins with understanding that these emotions arise regardless of what we do. I will discuss this in an upcoming blog on how Wu Wei or “not doing” works.

So, when these emotions appear, we must first recognize them and know their origin. We must also understand that they serve no purpose except to distract us and cause pain and conflict. The mind/ego enjoys these conflicts because they make it feel important.

Knowing that these emotions are not helpful is the first step to ignoring them. Notice I didn’t say eliminate them. We cannot eliminate these emotions as long as our minds/egos exist.

So, if we can’t get rid of them, we must learn to let them go.

In my last post, I wrote about a Zen saying about letting things go: “Let them in the front door and out the back door, and don’t let them stop for tea.”

While this is a good analogy of what you should do, we don’t invite evil thoughts in our front door. Bad thoughts and emotions arise in our minds. We don’t have to invite them in; they appear on their own.

When they appear, it’s important not to try to suppress them. Let them in, experience them in the present moment, and then let them go. Don’t cling to them, and don’t give them your energy.

Say a package you ordered is late. Your mind may erupt in a flash of anger. Perhaps something like, “I can’t believe those stupid idiots lost my package!!!”. On the physical level, it’s a natural reaction to a late delivery.

OK, so the thought enters your mind. You hold it for a second and then forget about it. It is what it is: a late package. It will come eventually. Why get upset over it? Remember, all that anger will not get your package delivered any sooner.

That’s how you should react when your mind wants to make a fuss.

What you don’t want to do is hold onto that anger and let it build until you are spitting mad and cursing anyone and everyone for delaying the package. If you cling to the anger, it could last for days, depending on how long the package is delayed.

Again, after all that anger, are you any better off? Of course not. The package will not come because you stomp your feet and curse them. In that kind of a sour mood, you can spread it to others around you.

Either way, it can ruin your day and that of those around you. That is not how to handle it.

Being able to let your bad feelings go does not mean that they are gone. As I said, your mind/ego loves controversy and tries to create it whenever possible.

This is not a problem for anyone who is centered and understands how to let these go. No matter how often your mind/ego returns with these thoughts, you must let them go when they come in. Eventually, your mind/ego will quiet down while it looks for something else to make trouble.

Remember, too, that most people are trapped in this never-ending cycle of emotions. They have no idea they are trapped. So, if you are surrounded by people trapped by their feelings, remain calm and centered. Don’t let their moods infect you. I know it is hard, but you must isolate yourself from them, leaving them if necessary.

Fighting traps is a challenging, never-ending process. Knowing what to look for is the first step, and knowing how to find your center is the key to handling them.

I’ll discuss more traps in later blog posts.

Stay centered, and you will find peace.

Namaste,

Michael Tavella, author of

“Break Through To Your True Self”

Yourtrueself.blog