Knowing Oneself

He who knows others is learned;
   He who knows himself is wise.
He who conquers others has power of muscles;
   He who conquers himself is strong.
He who is contented is rich.
   He who is determined has strength of will.
He who does not lose his center endures.
He who dies yet (his power) remains has long life. (Chapter 33, Tao Te Ching, Lin Yu Tan trans.)

In my last blog post, I discussed finding and maintaining one’s center. But what is one’s “center,” and how do you get there? That is the subject of this post.

Although there are several definitions of your “center,” the one I like is “a place of inner peace and connection with your true self.” It’s a state of pure consciousness that’s free from external distractions.

Lao Tzu does not speak of the “true self” as such in the Tao Te Ching. His focus is on the Tao and its workings.

The quote above, however, mentions a person’s “center.” It is consistent with other definitions of “your center.”

As I said, your center is a place of inner peace and a connection to your true self.

To find your center, you must learn to silence your mind and ego through meditation.

Many forms of meditation are available online to help with this. You can also look for meditation centers in your area and find meditation coaches who can guide you through meditation.

Whichever way you choose, you must select the proper meditation. Meditations cover many things. Some address bad habits and addictions, and others help remove blocks.

The meditation you want is one that specifically quiets the mind. During this meditation, you will relax and then empty your mind of all thoughts. It takes practice and some time to master this. Eventually, you can quiet your mind for longer periods. It is then that you are ready to find your true self.

As always, I caution that this type of meditation can be dangerous. If you are uncomfortable with it, I recommend using a meditation center or a live coach to ensure that you remain relaxed and help you recover at the end of the meditation.

When you first start this, you will feel odd when you first stop your mind. You’ll feel “disconnected” from the world. But don’t let that bother you. It is normal and not a problem.

In meditation, once your mind is silent, you will hear and feel things: the temperature of the room, the sound of a bird or maybe a clock, and your breathing. How you perceive these with no mind is through your true self. That’s all that’s left. Once you experience observing and perceiving with no mind, you will have experienced your true self.

 Once you find your true self, you will enter a place of inner peace. That is your center.

Go back to this place often. The more you do it, the more you’ll increase your awareness of your true self.

Don’t get discouraged if you can’t still your mind right away. It takes time to learn how to still your mind. Don’t expect this to happen in your first meditation. But, if you are meditating correctly, it will eventually come.

Now that you have found your “center,” the next trick is to maintain it while not meditating and how to get it back if you are distracted. I say while not meditating because to live a peaceful existence, you cannot stop and meditate in every situation.  

Maintaining it while not meditating is not as complicated as it sounds, although it takes some practice. As I mentioned in my last blog, avoid situations that cause you to lose your center. These include cable news, upsetting movies, TV shows, books, and music that stir emotions.

Remember, even a strong feeling of joy can knock you off center. It’s easy to move from happy to manic when your mind and ego take over.

Avoiding stress on the job or at home with family is also crucial in maintaining your center.

This does not mean you must become an emotionless zombie. It does mean you will seek tranquility over arguments or artificial controversies. It means avoiding negative people whenever possible.

Despite your best efforts, you will lose your center. In the beginning, it may be quite often. As you get better, you will catch yourself before it gets too bad. Then you can do some simple exercises to get it back.

Moving meditation is one of the most practical ways to restore your center. A walk in the woods or even a quiet neighborhood is an excellent place to start.

Working on crafts and hobbies is also an excellent way to relax and remove stress, which is one of the leading causes of losing your center. While absorbed in the work, you will find that time is no longer critical—only the activity before you occupies your mind. You are at peace.

Remember, the trick is to stop the destructive emotions and quiet your overheated mind.

Paraphrasing a Zen poem: ”Leave your front door and your back door open. Let thoughts come in the front and out the back. Don’t serve them tea.” If evil thoughts arise to disturb your peace, let them come in, but let them go as quickly as they arise. You must not cling to them, however. How many times do you have negative thoughts that fester? You keep returning to them, and the anger builds all over again each time. Let them go and move on in peace.

As you improve at maintaining your center, finding peace will become easier and last longer.

Being centered may result in significant changes. You may want to change jobs or even move to a different city or town to live. You may go from a workplace or town with negative energy to one with more positive energy. Those are some of the longer-term results of finding and maintaining your center.

I will discuss more of these effects in a later blog post.

You may use your true self and the Tao to find that new job and location, but that is another subject for a later blog.

Namaste,

Michael Tavella, author of

“Break Through To Your True Self”

Yourtrueself.blog